Narrator: Well, hello there children, today is an extra special day in Happy Green Forest. For an old friend makes a triumphant return …..
The waterhole is Happy Green Forests version of a bar; there are rocks to sit on and a few tree stump tables. An old raft is used as a stage and there are two bears wearing suits acting as bouncers.
A small Wolf cub approaches the Bears with the misplaced confidence that only youth can offer.
Carl (with a put on deep voice) : Evenin’ chaps
“Tiny” Tim (the biggest of the bears) And where do you think you’re going lil’ Pup?
Carl (voice swaying from faux deep to squeaky teen) : Ah you know just going in for a sup after a hard days work at school…. I mean the office, we call the office school, it’s a silly joke really.
Tommy (the other bear): it’s a funny joke, really
Tiny: Hilarious … but you know you can’t come in
Carl: (squeaky) Why not (deep) Why not?
Tommy: You know why not, come on I know your mother … Its Carl right?
Carl: But I’m Twenty One
Tiny (deadpan) : Dog years don’t count.
Tommy: Now that’s funny.
Carl: Ah come on guys I wanna see the Jazz Crab, he is on tonight aint he? I mean that’s why youse guys are on the doors on a Wednesday night.
Tommy: Jeez how did you know? Its meant to be a secret show … Seymour has only been back a few days
Carl (excited) everybody knows! They are saying Morris is support as well
Tiny: Someone’s blabbed … I blame the internet
Tommy: You blame … the internet?
Tiny: yup its spoils everything, breeds lies you know there are people on there who think the world is flat and we didn’t land on the moon? And on this one site I saw this Horse ….
Tommy: (to tiny) we’ll talk about this later … (to Carl) Look kid I would love to let you in, really I would, but you’re underage and this aint no place for a pup.
Carl (dejected) I’m not a pup
Tommy: like I said kid I’m sorry, my hands are tied
Carl (turning and walking off) You guys suck
As Carl walks off, Barry the Bushbaby, bopping his head to a frantic unheard beat, rushes towards the bears. Followed as ever by the sleepy ferret Benny.
Barry: How are we boys … is he on yet? Is she working tonight? Do you guys really … you know in the woods?
Tommy: Morris is just about finished , its Pips night off tonight ...
Tiny: But she is in
Tommy: OH! Nice one Tiny … look give her a break eh, Barry? She is new round here and doesn’t know how to take it
Barry: I’ll show her how to take it yuk yuk yuk yuk yarrrgh
Tommy (grabbing Barrys arm, digging his claws in but smiling) Leave her be eh?
Barry (rubbing where he has been mauled) ok ok ok I’ll be nice, I’ll be nice
Benny: You still talking ‘bout that Beaver? I knew a Capybara once
Barry: Not this again, come on Rip Van Winkle lets find a pew
Benny and Barry walk off into the waterhole and find a rock to perch on. The place is crowded with the residents of Happy Green Forest. On the stage a Mole wearing a smoking jacket is gripping the microphone and singing with his eyes shut tight.
Morris: I’m a Rodent and I need to be Loo-ooved … Just like everybody else does
Benny (leaning into Barry) I saw his first band you know
Barry: I know I got us the tickets, now shut up I love this song … (shouting along woefully out of tune) And you go home and cry and you want to diiiiie
The song ends the crowd cheers. Morris squints into the crowd, nods his head as a thank you and scurries off stage.
Barry: I can’t believe we missed his set, it’s your fault as well you lazy good for nothing ….
Benny: Dude look I’m sorry but you know I need my Z’s
Barry: You are always sleeping!
Benny: I’m a Ferret! … Look I’ll go get the drinks in
Benny trudges off to the waters edge and waits behind the logs that makes up the bar to be served.
A Raccoon wearing a low cut top and with two big gold hoop earrings eventually comes over to Benny.
Barbara: Y’alright Benny
Benny: Alright Barb two Standings please doll and whatever you want as well of course
Barbara: Ah thanks sweet cheeks
Barbara pours two glasses of green stagnant water for Barry and Benny and a small glass of crystal clear water for herself
Benny: Cheers chick.. Maybe I’ll see you later eh?
Barbara (coy): Yeah maybe you will
Benny makes his way back to Barry, who is sat staring open mouthed at the stage.
Barry (motioning towards the stage): You seen this clown?
Onstage a toad is stood picking out random notes on a bass guitar
Barry: I hate roadies
Benny (putting the drinks onto the table) Not this again
Barry: Cheers Pal (takes a sip) Ooh that’ll put hairs on your chest
The toad happy with the sound of the Bass hops off stage. A hush falls over the crowd as they await the main act.
Barry stands on his chair.
Barry: COME OOOOOOOOON
The entire crowd turn as one and look at Barry. Most realise who it is shake their heads and turn back to the stage.
An elderly crab scuttles sideways onto the stage. Perched on top of his shell is a battered black pork pie hat. In one claw he is holding a harmonica.
The crowd goes wild.
Seymour: Good evening ladies and gentlemen I’m Seymour the Jazz Crab it’s a pleasure to see you all here on this fine night in this fine, fine club and this (waving the harmonica) is Monica ….
Crowd (as one) AAaaaah Monica
Seymour: God bless ya, god bless ya
Seymour starts to play a blues riff but cuts it short
Seymour: Before we get going I better introduce a few friends of mine … We been out on the road spreading the love …. Ladies and gents it’s the Happy Green Forest Jazz orchestra
Various animals of all different shapes and sizes, including a spider on the drums, A Capybara on guitar and an old Badger with a trumpet emerge on stage and pick up their instruments.
Benny: That’s her! That’s her I told you I knew a Capybara!
Barry: You don’t know her, they all look alike these Capybara’s
Seymour restarts the blues riff on Monica and the band all join in.
Narrator: Happy Green Forest is a happy place but music brings out the best of us all. This party continues well into the night and doesn’t stop until the break of Dawn.
Dawn is a Swan who falls off a table trying to get a better look.
Take care you.
Dawn: Whooooooooooo I love you Seymour .. wait what?
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