The Worst/Best Super Hero EVER.

Behold! For it is I Antics Man!

With my faithful sidekick Vaguely Surreal Lad!

Together we fight crime and hunt evil, armed with my razor sharp wit and seemingly unending collection of non sequiturs and Vaguely Surreal Lads total lack of logic and reason.

We are almost unstoppable!

I say almost unstoppable, I have the attention span of a Gnat; do Gnats know they have short attention spans?

Or are they just content buzzing about all

“oooh look a field”
“ooooh look a field”
“ooooh look a field”

What is it about a Cows arse that is so attractive?

Goldfish are meant to have short memories as well but I think that’s a blessing really when you live in a tiny bowl and the only form of company is a plastic skull that blows bubbles, still at least you could do Hamlet.

Don’t be stupid it would never work, fish haven’t got hands they couldn’t hold the skull for the “Alas poor Yorick …” Bit.

So yeah anyway what was I saying?

Ummm as you can see Vaguely Surreal Lad doesn’t wear a mask to hide his identity he says its important people know who he is now, so he wears a disguise when he is going about his everyday business so as to not detract from his well known crime fighting alter ego.

Last week we caught the notorious crime baron Kevin “The Little Chef” Phillips, who had the disgusting plan of poisoning our great nations drivers with tiny portions of overpriced, over cooked foods.

On the way to his lair, why do villains always have lairs? And they are always mad, why just for once can’t we have a perfectly sane criminal who lives in a flat in central London, he wants to move out of the city but he feels the commute would be too much for him.

So yes fear us, for we will catch you eventually!